The Fun and Wacky Adventures of Carknee, (the “k” is silent)

It’s late… In fact, it’s really late. Well, ok, so it’s only 1ish, but I feel like it’s later. I dunno why I am still awake. I guess I just don’t want to go to my room. It’s changed–it’s different. My sister and her husband left… they took my bed with them. They’ve gone back to their home some odd 300 miles away and they convinced my parents to give them my bed, which is a queen and is luxurious and has me completely spoiled. I wish I was allowed to whine about material positions, but I know I shouldn’t.

Currently, all I can whine about is how much I miss the boys from Medford and that at times I feel stoopid because they’re probably not sulking anymore and therefore, I am pathetic and sad. Actually, they are cooler than that and I think they remember all five (5) of us at least once a day. I miss them awful much.

Nathan threatened to cut his hair tonight… Leah encouraged him. I was so upset, tears began to emerge and I had to force them to recede. I dunno why, but I have a serious issue with hair, especially when it’s someone with the awesomest hair I have ever seen. Understand that Nathan’s hair grows in unnatural directions, therefore making him unique and special and incredible in my eyes. For him to even mention the word “trim,” is absolutely dreadful and if he does so, he better not let me know and it better be the same way it was when I last saw him or I will weep… for at least 27 hours, I will cry until I am completely drained of all salty bodily fluids.

Alex and Leah attacked me with virtual sharpies and cried “I smite thee!” over and over again until I died. I asked them to make me pretty, but unfortunately, that is impossible, even when I am dead.

Tomorrow, Leah and mo.d and I plan to take a girly ride down the slough through Woodinville and into Redmond where we will likely have intense frisbee battles and pull each other’s hair until two of us cry and can take no more. I was thinking about what I wanted to pack for lunch and I honestly cannot think of a thing that I would like to carry on my back and then hoist around in my stomach around mid-noon. Just thinking about it makes me feel really ickey/gross. All food is very bad right now, and I don’t like it at all. It’s not good anymore and I don’t enjoy it. Today, I had a chicken enchilada lunch and I couldn’t eat it the whole thing. You don’t understand–chicken enchiladas that come in the Lean Cuisine packages are my favorite food in the world every since I cut Top Ramen’s out of my diet. (Did you know that one Top Ramen block of soup is worth 18 points on the Weight Watchers’ plan? Yeah, it’s really disgusting! And I’m only allowed 22 points a day!) So, when I couldn’t finish my enchilada today, I got scared! Me, refuse to finish a meal? That’s impossible! Inconceivable! No way! But it’s true–it really happened! So, tomorrow? Breakfast? Gross! Lunch? Vomitous! Dinner? Repulsive!

Ok, so I understand this was a very interesting post and it’s probably because it’s late, I’m tired, and my bed is really gone. I enjoy my cot, though, because it makes loud squeeky noises that pisses off everyone else I know. The one thing I am looking forward to tomorrow is drinking lots of water. Ever since I got back from Creation Fest, I have been on the biggest water binge. I actually drank three of those quart sized bottles yesterday and I got so sick, I thought I’d hurl. I dunno what size the bottle was actually, but I know that it is “3 servings,” so it was a lot of water to be had within 1.5 hours time. That is good though because I know that I’m gonna lose more weight every week which is my ultimate goal. Did I mention that I lost 4.5 pounds this week? Happy me! I am so motivated right now… But I shouldn’t go into it because you are probably already gone from being too bored, so I will stop now, for fear that you are presently writing me a threatening letter…

Joy and peace, brothers and sisters! And please, don’t cut your hair–it’s just wrong. Just like Alanis Morisette or Jewel being famous–it’s just wrong! WRONG!



**End transmission. jeffersonair.**

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