Dating Etiquette: Her Birthday – what NOT to do!

carlybish says:

So tell me about your birthday! I can’t believe you’re 21! It’s like… umm… ADULTHOOD! But for real this time, not like when you turned 18. So tell me about it!

Stephanie says:

Ok, so three words to sum up December 1, 2004: worst birthday ever!

carlybish says:

WHAT?! What happened??

Stephanie says:

Yeah, so my grandparents are awesome and came up to take me to the Olive Garden for lunch (it’s my grandma’s b-day too)–that part was fun…

carlybish says:

Very cool. Grandparents can be awesome.

Stephanie says:

Definitely! So I had to go back early because I had class from 1:45-3:30. Jake had mentioned previously that I should be ready by 5:30 or 6 because he wanted to do something w/ me. I got online and talked to him at about 4:30 or 5, just to see if that was still what he wanted. He told me we weren’t really on a time limit, so anywhere around then was fine. And then he said, “Well, ok, here’s the ‘itinerary’ for the evening:

1. go to the UC for dinner (my treat )

2. surprise

3. I have to work the front desk from 9-10pm

4. other surprise”

So, I look at #1, which says he is taking me to the PLU cafeteria for dinner. On my 21st birthday.

carlybish says:

…That’s what that is??

Stephanie says:

Yes. So I called my roommate in and asked her if she knew what he was planning, She said no, so I showed her what he had said. So we decide it has to be a joke. I mean, the man is cheap, but he can’t be THAT confident. So Katy gets mad and says that if it’s seriously his plan, she wants to take me out to dinner. Then she IMs him to ask him if that’s really where we’re going. He says “yeah…i have no money ,” and then she gets totally pissed and tells him that she wants to take me out because I deserve better, esp. on my 21st b-day.

carlybish says:

GOOD! Goodness sakes!

Stephanie says:

So they are fighting, and I am so mad at him for being such a jerk, ESPECIALLY on my b-day. So I make him apologize, tell him to knock it off, and tell him that if all he can afford right now is the UC, that’s fine. He comes and picks me up at like 6 or something, and then we go to his room before we eat. I sit down on the couch, and he hands me a bandana, telling me I need to blindfold myself. I do, and then he starts handing me random objects and making me guess until I figure out what they are. Finally, the last object is my present, which he tells me I can shake. I do, and I tell him it sounds like sand in a box.

carlybish says:

Uh huh…

Stephanie says:

He lets me take the blindfold off and open it, so I excitedly rip apart the toilet paper he has so carefully wrapped it in… And then I stare in disbelief at what I am holding. Two boxes of Oregon Chai Tea mix taped together. From my boyfriend of SEVEN MONTHS. WHAT THE HECK DO YOU SAY AFTER RECIEVING A GIFT LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!

carlybish says:

I would be… speechless. I wouldn’t be able to say ANYTHING.

Stephanie says:

Yeah, I definitely was at first. Somehow, I managed to thank him, but then I had to try really hard not to laugh. The best part was that he then proceeded to tell me that he had bought them at the PLU bookstore and that he had been able to use a gift card, so he basically got them for free. WHY would he TELL me that?!

carlybish says:

Still speechless!

Stephanie says:

Yup. So after a “delicious” and “romantic” UC dinner, we hop in the car for the first surprise. That was actually pretty cool, because he took me ice skating. But the whole time he just wanted to go as fast as he could, and it was not romantic at all. And then he got tired pretty fast. So we left, and he told me the other surprise was that he had wanted to take me out for a drink. But, by then it was 8:30 and he had to be at the desk at 9, so he told me we could go afterward.

carlybish says:

Okay… Please tell me it does not get any worse?

Stephanie says:

ok, so some of my guy friends heard about how Jake was taking me to the UC for dinner, so they told me they wanted to take me out while Jake was working the desk

carlybish says:

Yay! Good!

Stephanie says:

I told Jake I was going with them while he worked, and he was totally fine with it. So they took me to Red Robin, and all chipped in to get me some drinks, and it was SOOO fun! And when I told them all about everything that had happened, they were in shock. They seriously could not believe things just kept getting worse.

carlybish says:

Chai Tea and Jake competing against himself at the ice skating rink is a pretty non-romantic, non-special 21st birthday! I’m appalled as well!

Stephanie says:

Exactly. So we all decided it was for the best that I got out for a bit and had a little alcohol to help me “relax” a bit. Well so Jake had assumed I would be back by 10, since that’s when he got off and we didn’t end up leaving until 10:30, so he sounded a bit less than thrilled when I called him.

carlybish says:

He has no right, but go on… I’m dying to see where this goes.

Stephanie says:

Haha. So the guys drop me off at PLU, and I go up to Jake’s room. He’s sitting there on the couch, pouting. And of course, when I ask him what his problem is, he won’t tell me.

carlybish says:

Such a man.

Stephanie says:

Yeah… So then I finally drag it out of him that he’s “sad” because I came back later than he had expected. And so he doesn’t feel like going out anymore. So all I want to do at this point is go home, but he has to drive me back. And then he says something about how he’s a disappointment to me because all he can offer me is the UC. That’s pretty much the straw that breaks the camel’s back. So I leave, go to the bathroom, and start crying because I am BEYOND frustrated.

carlybish says:

I am so sorry that happened, Steph. That’s a terrible birthday. And for him to make YOU feel bad at the end of the day… It’s YOUR birthday, for goodness sake!

Stephanie says:

I KNOW! That’s what I told him, too! I was like, “what makes me the most upset out of the whole birthday ordeal is that you made me feel like I was a selfish jerk at the end of the night!”

carlybish says:

That’s the worst part! Forget the bad dinner, the crappy ice skating, the freaking Chai Tea! I’d be pissed if he sat in his room moping just to make me feel bad! That’s ridiculous!

Stephanie says:

If ever there was a defining moment in our relationship where I saw it heading towards a black hole,that would be it. I just wish I hadn’t had so much faith in him still.

carlybish says:

Well, he’s a good guy. He just… He needs to grow up.

Stephanie says:

Definitely. I told him that he does not treat me the way you treat the person you want to marry. Which he had a hard time understanding, but I explained it to him the best I could.

carlybish says:

What’s not to understand?? You wouldn’t give your wife Chai Tea for her birthday, would you??

Stephanie says:

HAHA!!! Ok, so do you know what my mom said about him?

carlybish says:

No, but please tell me.

Stephanie says:

She said, “The problem with Jake is that, metaphorically, he just needs his ride to be pimped. Well…or maybe he, himself, needs to be pimped?”

carlybish says:

AH!!!

Stephanie says:

I died.

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