College Issues Rub Me Backwards

This weekend I was seriously bummed because I was chillin’ with my mom in her new truck and we were coming home from the State Fairgrounds when I mentioned to her about my plans to go to California to attend UCLA. Well, my dad already knows about my plans and he’s cool with it. He doesn’t really know how I’m gonna do it, but he’s still supportive. Mother, on the other hand, has a sign around her 24/7 that can be clearly read as, “MONEY CONCERNS? Proceed with caution!” So, I kinda had to build up to the news. First, I mention to her that I’ve decided I know what I want to major in.

“Screenwriting and Directing. I wanna make movies, mom!”

Her response: “Sounds great! You better find a school with those majors!”

One month later!

“Well, mom, there are no schools in Washington State that offer screenwriting or directing majors.”

Her response: “Well, then, you’re probably going to have to major in something else then.”

I fight back the horrifying screams that are launching from the insides of my toes up toward my nasal passage and through my mouth…

One month later.

“So mom, UCLA offers an amazing film school and I was thinking I could move down there with Aunt Hol and go there.”

Her response: “Ok, but you know I can’t pay for you to go there.”

That’s when I begin to cry. Ok, so I know it sounds totally selfish, but just about every college student in the world gets help from their parents and I always felt like God would provide the things I needed to go to UCLA, but now that my mother says that she cannot afford to send me there at all kinda dampens on my dreams.

So lately, I’ve been kinda mopey around the house when no one is around. I keep thinking, I know this is what I want to do. God is leading my in this direction! How can this not be the right thing? Well, I still think it is, and I need to have more faith that God is going to help me out here, despite how my mom can’t front the money. It’ll be ok, I think. I’m still making a little money. I need to stop spending so much. I need to start focusing on what I really want instead of what I want but don’t necessarily need. What I really want is to go to UCLA and live with my Aunt Holly, so therefore, I gotta keep those things in the front of my brain.

God’s gonna help me on this one. I know He will. I have the faith that he will. Which reminds me that I have to tell a story later. It’s kinda small, but to me, it’s pretty awesome!

Peace out!

carly.

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