Wednesday, November 27, 2001

I feel very unlistened to right now. In these past months, the past days, and minutes. For some unknown reason, I feel unheard, ignored, and in many ways, invisible. Mostly, my family seems completely unbeknownst of my life. They never ask me how my day went? They never ask, “What have you been up to?” They reveal no curiosity about my life, my interests, my friends. I go about day-to-day, doing lots of things and meeting new people and discovering new things about myself, but my family has no desire, (to my knowledge), to know anything about anything about me. My friends don’t seem too interested either. More so than my parents, at least I feel I exsist when my friends are around. Still, I feel I am the one who lacks interesting qualities, and sometimes I feel totally worthless compared to others. Is this my own doing? Have I inflicted this upon myself? The only time I ever feel interesting is when I have a story to tell. “Something hilarious happened to me the other day!…” That’s when I feel like I’m revealing a little piece of my insides to someone else, and what a wonderful feeling it is when I know that someone is getting to see me just a tinge better than he or she did before. Perhaps it is my fault that my parents have no interest in me. I’m not exactly sure, because I know that I tell them about things that are going on all the time, but they always reply, “Oh, that’s great, honey,” or, “Cool, Car. Tell me more later cause I gotta go check my email” or some other lame excuse. My parents aren’t evil, in fact, they’re wonderful. I just think they are so caught up in everything that’s happening around them that they don’t realize that they sometimes make me feel unimportant. They also don’t realize it’s been going on for too many years now. I can’t remember the last time I got home from school and my parents asked, “So what happened at school today?” I yearn for that question. My heart longs for it. Yes, I attempt to tell them what happened anyways, but if they asked it would make my life so much sweeter simply because I know they are genuinely interested.

At least God found me interesting enough to create, love, and save me. That certainly boosts my confidence.

If you look above you, you will see the air compartment button. If you should ever have difficulty breathing, just punch the ceiling with your fist a coupla times and the respitory supporter should fall into your lap. Quickly strap it around your head and breath deep. If the elastic band should cut the blood circulation off to your head and you pass out, enjoy the pleasant relaxation. Besides, it’s not our fault your head is so massive! The elastic band even says, “One size fits all.” Sheesh…

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