At the end of a very long day, we sat in the same restaurant from last night and felt too tired for normal conversation. I was thinking about the entire day’s events. Besides an hour of class and an hour spent for lunch, we had spent the our Thursday helping Travis move out of his apartment and into his new place across the parking lot. It was an amazing amount of work. At dinner, I was incredibly tired but I still felt obligated to entertain and make certain people laugh. I tried really hard, but semi-failed–I just wasn’t in “the zone” tonight. For the most part, we all talked about relationships. I don’t know if we learned anything from each other because of it, but many things were vented about what we hate about what the opposite gender does. Apparently, guys hate the messages in their high school yearbooks that say things such as, “You’re such a nice guy!” and the worst one, “Don’t ever change.” Of course, I released my anger towards the fact that I’m so often seen as “one of the guys” by all my guy friends. The fact that I never got asked to a school dance was also mentioned. The biggest part of our conversation dwelt upon the number of serious crushes we’ve had in our high school careers. I counted six. Travis counted eleven or twelve. Barry counted one. Nick counted thirteen, I think. It was during all this conversation of crushes and dating that I found myself looking back at Nick a lot. I guess I was searching for meaning behind the looks he gave for every comment made. I’m at that point where I find myself looking at him all the time and I worry that he’s noticed. Does he like it? Does he wish I’d look away? Does it confuse him? Does it scare him? Does he read my thoughts? I cannot describe how much I wish I could have read his thoughts tonight.

Honestly… what am I thinking??

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