Why I won’t date… I suppose it’s because of my obnoxious and unrealistic hope that the next man I invest my heart in will ultimately be the last man I fall for ever again. I’m not interested in casual dating and I don’t need to meet a variety of men to learn what I like and what I don’t. I know exactly what I admire in men and in all people. However, the combination of aspects I look for in a person are not common or apparent in most. Over the last six months, I have become exceedingly picky about who I will consider getting to know in a “romantic” fashion. It’s not that I’m a snob or think I’m better than anyone, as many people might and have the right to think. Everyone can be my friend, but the bar has to be met if I think someone could be morethanafriend.
Maybe I’m jaded. I have even accused myself of this. However, I believe my friend Josh put it best when he said, “You know, Car… For someone as whimsical and romantic as you, you’re shockingly reasonable.” Somehow, I have not only managed to become a seeker of magic but for the meaning behind magic. It may be contradictory, but there is a balance. Yes, I live in a realm of wonder and reason. Is it really that impossible??
Since starting school, friends and family have expressed their high hopes for me to “finally start dating”. It’s true that I’m lonely. I would love nothing more than to have someone to spoon with on my couch on a Friday night such as this. But unless there’s a connection–one that is intellectually stimulating as well as emotionally–I refuse to spoon with anyone, “innocent” or no. If a man and I can enjoy an argument over why a band is good or bad; if we can discuss one of life’s falicies and what we’ve learned; if we can sit on a floor tossing a deck of cards into a hat and love it… Then maybe, just maybe, I’ll think about the possibility.
But only then.