Wow, Christmas is coming up faster than I expected, or wanted it to. Last night, I finally got presents for my parents and older sister. I still need to get something for Kyle and for my sister’s fiance. Not to mention, I have not bought any presents for my friends! Sometimes I feel so terrible… This morning I was totally selfish. My mom asked if I would get up early to help her and my dad with the daily chores before I went to Susan’s to babysit. Of course, I ended up sleeping in until 10:45, and even when I did wake up, I didn’t do anything. What’s up with me?! How self-centered can one person get? So of course, I have to leave almost immediately and my parents just look at me like, “Whatever…” and as I’m driving to Susan’s, I realize that it’s possible no one has taken care of the kittens! I call my dad and I end up getting chewed out, and it was totally deserved, and my dad said at the end of his speech, “Frankly, Carly, I’m disgusted with you right now and don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” *Click* Can you blame him?! Dad’s out of work, and mom’s working her butt off to support the family–especially in this time of year. And what do I do?! I blow them off to satisfy my own pleasure by sleeping in. Now, half the day is gone!

I’ve decided that I have to change. I’m selfish and I boss people around–so says my mom, and despite how I disagree, part of me tells me she’s right. I have to change. What is nice about all this is how I can go to God and ask for His help in changing me. The only one who can change me is God and it’s so great because I wouldn’t want ME to change ME–that’s just asking for trouble. What do I know about fixing myself?

One thing I’ve decided to change is the hour I wake up, and the hour I go to sleep. Every morning, I will wake up at 8:00. At night, lights are out at 11:00. That’s the worst thing for me to change–the time I go to sleep. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, but I am determined to make things better and it’s the best thing I can think of now.

On an excellent note, we are having MudFootball on Sunday after church. About 15 or 16 people will be coming and I am so happy because I really want to start my vacation of with a… *cheesy word approaching*… BANG! On Sunday, there is supposed to be rain! For the first time in a long time, I am glad that it will be raining! The rainer, the muddier, and the muddier, the slippier, and the slippier, the messier we become!!! Right now, I am going to make a list of people I am going to invite and call them to see if they can come. I want them to be well prepared for Sunday.

Anyways, glad I could vent. It’s kinda nice being able to confess and not know who’s listening or reading… But just knowing that they’re there is comforting and I feel encouraged.

*This is your captain speaking. Thank you again for flying jeffersonairplane despite your pilot’s schitz-O brain!*

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