Nostalgia Of An Ugly Kind.

Last night, George and I watched the movie The Last Kiss with Zach Braff and I hated it. I love Zach Braff and I think he’s a brilliant actor, but the story was awful and reminded me way too much of what happened to me last year. If you’ve seen it, then you’ve seen what happened to me retold by actors. If you haven’t seen it, I suppose you could go rent it and find out what I’m talking about. On the other hand, I don’t want to encourage you to do that either.

Of course, there were some variances between the movie and my life. Like the fact that she was pregnant and Zach Braff never left a bruise on her. But I was cheated on and he did try to get me back and he said things like, “I know now that you’re the one I want to be with” and “I’ve learned my lesson”… However, in my case, I chose (eventually) not to take him back and he responded with things like, “I know I can get better than you, prettier than you, skinnier than you, smarter than you” and “You’ll never find anyone who will love you more than I do,” which I know is the most prime examples of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how anyone can live so spiteful, but he does it quite well apparently.

I know I’ve just revealed a lot from my life last year. Maybe that’s why I hadn’t written as much in 2006. I love to have stories to tell, but so much of my life since I moved here is so personal, it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to document it. Then again, I’ve been doing this since November 2001 and I’ve always enjoyed this as a venue for self expression and a chance for people to get to know me. Oh, conundrum…

So the movie was horrible and afterwards, George and I watched an episode of Arrested Development just so I could forget about Zach Braff’s character and all his excuses. I have to admit that having George in my life has brought a lot of emotional healing. Moving here was the right thing to do and there are many people I’ve met who I’ll know for life, George especially…

And I realize I write about moving home a lot and how excited I am to go. I wouldn’t blame you if you’re reading and getting really tired of knowing how tired I am of living in the South and how I “just can’t wait” to go back to Seattle… But if it makes you feel any better, I think when I do return home, I’ll have a lot more interesting things to write about, stories to tell, and a lot less wounds to heal. And you won’t have to read my whining and complaining so much anymore. Even I’m getting annoyed with what I spout out these days.

I almost wish someone could tell me what to write or make a request. (That’s not a plea for people to comment!) Like when you’re in school and you don’t know what to write your essay paper about, but your teacher gives you a list of topics to choose from to help you with your idea.

Sometimes, it’d just easier being told what to do.

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