I went with my mom grocery shopping this evening. It was a moment I tried desperately hard not to laugh out loud. Somehow, my mother, the grocer, and a 40-year-old bag-boy got to talking about Austin Powers: Goldmember…

Grocer: Last night, my son and I watched Goldmember for about the fourteenth time.

Bag-Boy: Which one is that again?

Mom: That’s the one with Fat Bastard.

Grocer: Well, the second one has Fat Bastard in it too.

Bag-Boy: I’m not sure if I’ve seen that one.

Mom: Fat Bastard is in the first and third ones I think…

Grocer: Actually, I think he’s in the second and the third.

Bag-Boy: Which one is the third one?

Mom: In the third one, Fat Bastard loses all that weight.

Grocer: That’s right! At the very end! He loses all the weight! He goes on the Subway diet!

Bag-Boy: Subway diet?

Grocer: I also love the Goldmember character.

Mom: Who was he?

Grocer: He’s the skater character. What ethnicity was he, though?

Mom: Swedish?

Grocer: I think he was Dutch.

Bag-Boy: Which one was this?

Mom: I love who played his father in the last one.

Grocer: Oh yeah! He’s a great actor.

Mom: Yeah, he is.

Grocer: …Shoot. I can’t think of his name.

ME: Michael Cain.

Mom & Grocer: That’s it!

Bag-Boy: I don’t think I saw that one.

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